I have found that for most interpersonal struggles, and life questioning, there is one solution: Know, Trust & Love Yourself.
It's a healing journey
Easier said than done, right? How DO we know, love and trust ourselves if we are primarily focused on "doing" in the world? It takes a conscious effort to turn within and discover who we are. It isn't taught in school and it isn't mirrored by our loved ones (unless you are a rare person with a rare loved one). What we see in others is what others are showing us about themselves. What people do is about them, not us, though if it happens often enough, with enough people, we start to draw false conclusions about ourselves. Its easy to think that because others show up a certain way, this is a reflection of us. But we need to develop discernment through a conscious relationship with ourselves, which includes our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and our actions (past and present) to truly know about ourselves. Remember, everyone around us is falling into line with what they were taught too! So we can't expect the world to tell us who we are. It's truly an inside job.... The society most of us were raised in and continue to live in, is focused on getting us to buy things and convincing us of what is lacking, not reflecting our true intrinsic worth.
So HOW DO you Know, Trust and Love yourself, and in what order? Isn't it an act of self love to attempt to know who we really are? I think we also build trust with ourselves as we take self loving actions. In the end, all three actions support each other. For example, I had a huge, viceral "aha experience" about the depth of my escapism through always putting my happiness in some distant (or not too distant) future. But by admitting this to myself, I hit a bottom in regard to living a life in any way for others. Even if the so called others were just parts of me that I had internalized through interacting with the world around me, my whole life! What a huge insight to see that the reason I was running was because I thought I was bad on some very fundamental level... that I was bad for just being me. I was always unconsciously adjusting myself to fit what I thought others expected or what I felt was what was "right" or "loving" or "spiritual" or what I thought would get me what I thought I wanted. But come to find out that what I really wanted was to be totally comfortable in my own skin, without ever once having to prove my worth to anyone by my words, intonation or actions.
In this case, I mistook my strong desire to keep moving, keep pressing forward out of my present circumstances, into some fantasy future as a genuine need, and that doing so was an act of self love. In the end, I see that I do like to travel and explore different places, and that my envionment is more important to me than many other people. But I also saw that it was exaggerated and out of proportion with other needs that I was neglecting, due to the pain and wound that shrouded those other needs. By being willing to see, feel and explore this deeper truth, I was performing an act of self love and simultaneously building trust within myself by taking new behaviors for my own higher and best interest (beyond my strong impulses and tendencies). Knowing, Loving and Trusting self are all intricately connected.