How to Quiet Your Inner Critic (A Spiritual and Psychological Approach)

The Two Voices That Shape Your Life

There is a well-known Native American story where a father explains to his son that there are two voices in his head—one loving, kind, and joyful, the other negative, fearful, and cruel. When the boy asks his father, “Which one wins?” the father replies, “The one you feed.”

What the Inner Critic Really Is

In Christianity, this voice is called Satan. In Buddhism, the voice is Mara. In psychology, we call this the inner critic.

Different traditions name this differently, but they are pointing to the same inner dynamic—the voice that distorts, diminishes, and pulls you away from truth.

The Choice Between Truth and Fear

Our great opportunity is to choose God’s voice and grow exponentially against the weight of these opponents. It is to choose love over fear, and kindness over contention.

These voices are bullies that spin everything against you. They create continual problems.

These often unconscious voices keep you out of alignment with your truth, encouraging you to put on a good face despite how you actually feel.

They make you procrastinate, worry, doubt, and expect the worst.

Any way you look at it, none of them is true. They don’t hold the power—we do. We have the power of choice.

Why the Inner Critic Feels So Convincing

This is not a habit anyone has helped us develop in the past, so it becomes a practice.

Everything changes when you decide that you will no longer believe its lies.

There are various ways to deal with these voices, and I’ve tried them all with some success. Lately, I’ve needed to firmly interrupt the pattern and return to my intentional life.

But I didn’t get there overnight. I’ve had to dig deep so I could address the actual lies and their source. I can still remember moments where the voice was relentless—telling me I wasn’t doing enough, that I was behind, that something was wrong with me—and I believed it. Now, after doing that for years, I know all its tricks and unique triggers for me.

It took me a lot of pain and suffering before I finally realized that no negative thought is the boss of me. There were times I felt completely tangled in it—second-guessing myself, overworking, trying to outrun a voice that couldn’t be satisfied. That’s what finally showed me it wasn’t truth.

The Root of the Inner Critic: What’s Beneath It

Satan is a liar. Mara is an illusion. The inner critic is formed by your shadow (repressed parts), because we can only heal what we are willing to look at. This is why self-awareness and unearthing are crucial for happiness.

God is Light. God is Truth. God is Love. God is Grace. God is the Way. We have access to that, but we have to consciously choose it.

We also have to come close to our shadow. We have to get to know it well… so we can see its guise. This requires mindfulness and, ideally, your loving God close beside you to help fight for you. We can’t do it alone.

Truth vs. the Inner Critic

The Bible says that Satan has no authority, only stolen power. It is God who has all authority.

Buddhism teaches us to invite Mara in for tea—to get to know her wiles. Then you can discern and choose the truth.

The inner critic is undone by recognizing what it is and not believing it—outright saying and aligning with the opposite. “Do it afraid,” as one mentor of mine says.

The Big Book of AA says about God, “…and may you find Him now. Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point and we asked for His care with complete abandon.”

Yes. It’s really an all-or-nothing thing when you get right down to it.

We believe God instead of lies. We believe good instead of bad. We throw off every arrow that Mara shoots while asserting the truth.

What Changes When You Stop Believing It

The truth sets us free, and the truth is that your Creator loves you right now, unconditionally.

You don’t have to keep twisting yourself into a pretzel.

You don’t have to push yourself all the time.
You don’t have to pretend you feel one way when you feel another.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

A Different Way to Live

And that is true freedom. That’s the kind of freedom I help my clients attain through my coaching, which helps them see the truth they can’t yet see and choose new ways of experiencing and living life.

You have your own unique triggers to these negative voices—the specific ways they get to you.

If you are ready to uncover the blind spots that are keeping you stuck, unhappy, or unfulfilled… if you are ready to feel peace in place of that and to genuinely like yourself and your life… I invite you to schedule a free consultation.

This is a space where we can talk about what’s been weighing on you, what you’ve been trying to navigate on your own, and what you’re ready to change or create. From there, we can see whether my coaching is the right kind of support for you.

If we find we are a strong fit, I’ll tell you specifically how I can help you. You can book your complimentary consultation here.